1 00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:09,142 - right now, The galaxy is being saved 2 00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:10,709 By heroes. 3 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,165 - (growling) 4 00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:49,350 - "Bonafide heroes" is Holo-recorded on location 5 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:52,419 With the men and women Of the galactic proctectorate. 6 00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:53,888 Good evening. 7 00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:57,090 I'm ruggedly handsome Veteran screen action hero 8 00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:58,359 Kirk manlord. 9 00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:02,629 Welcome to another edition Of "Bonafide heroes." 10 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,031 Tonight we profile 11 00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:07,634 Galactic protectorate captain Duck dodgers, 12 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,036 A bonafide hero. 13 00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:12,606 It's an uncompromising, Unpredictable ride, 14 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:17,377 Just like my new movie, "Manbeast ragewar iv," 15 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:19,646 Opening this friday. 16 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,749 As our cameras Invade his privacy, 17 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:24,284 We'll meet His most trusted friends, 18 00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:25,819 His most hated foes, 19 00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:28,889 And several less significant Figures in his life. 20 00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:32,325 Finally, captain dodgers himself Will tell us, 21 00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:33,694 In his own words, 22 00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:37,898 What it means to be A bonafide hero. 23 00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:42,965 Like me, in my new movie, "Manbeast ragewar iv." 24 00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:46,821 - (snoring) 25 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:55,646 - ha ha ha! Ha ha... 26 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:02,823 Ha ha ha! Ha... 27 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:05,659 Ha ha ha! 28 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,628 Ha... 29 00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:12,694 Wake up! You are lazy and worthless! 30 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:18,500 Ha ha! And powerless to stop me! 31 00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:23,710 You think I go away? But I'm still here! 32 00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:26,647 Ha ha! 33 00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:29,483 You want peace and quiet? 34 00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:34,054 Too bad! Ha ha... 35 00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:37,424 I'll never let you sleep again. 36 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:42,362 Ha ha! 37 00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:46,934 Not broken. Ha ha ha ha! 38 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,551 Ha, ha, ha ha ha! 39 00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,375 - captain dodgers 40 00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:56,610 Isn't really an early bird. And he's not 41 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:57,611 A night owl, either. 42 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,847 Morning, noon, afternoon, 43 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,281 And evening are all bad. 44 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,716 He's ok at dusk. 45 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,786 Sometimes. 46 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,420 - can I ask you something, Cadet? 47 00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:08,822 - yes, sir? 48 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,891 - why is there a camera crew In our kitchen? 49 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:13,059 - that's the "Bonafide heroes" Crew. 50 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,061 - what? 51 00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:16,197 - "Bonafide heroes." The tv show. 52 00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:19,066 - I can't hear you. Why are you whispering? 53 00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:20,901 - they're from "Bonafide heroes." 54 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,003 - what's that? A charity? 55 00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,206 I'm not falling For that again! 56 00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:27,641 Unless they promise To make me immortal. 57 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,176 - no, it's a tv show. 58 00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,411 They're here To follow you around, 59 00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:32,412 Remember? 60 00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,848 - ok. 61 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:37,551 So what's with the camera? 62 00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,954 - it's a tv show! 63 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,722 - why are you here? 64 00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:43,458 - dodgers is hands-down 65 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:45,793 The worst listener Who has ever lived. 66 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,361 You'll have A conversation with him, 67 00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:49,863 And moments later, He won't recall a single word. 68 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,899 It's uncanny. 69 00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:54,735 Sweet mother! Run!! 70 00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,752 - (screaming) 71 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:05,378 - perfect. 72 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,648 Ok, I'm ready. 73 00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:10,617 And...Action! 74 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:11,952 That means, "Start rolling." 75 00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:15,289 - they're already rolling, Captain. 76 00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:19,526 - right, Because I said, "Action!" 77 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:20,594 Amateurs. 78 00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,196 - I'm still in the room, Captain. 79 00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:24,064 - he may look, talk, and eat 80 00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:25,565 Like an utter buffoon, 81 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:26,867 But make no mistake, 82 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,203 Dodgers is a genius. 83 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,871 Perhaps the only thing Dodgers possesses 84 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,572 In greater abundance Than brilliance 85 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:35,342 Is bravery. 86 00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:36,711 - so... 87 00:04:36,778 --> 00:04:39,980 What life-threatening missions Are on our agenda today, 88 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,649 My eager young space cadet? 89 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:45,286 - why are you talking like that? 90 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:49,190 - ha ha ha! A fine joke, young chum. 91 00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:52,960 Even heroes like to laugh Now and...Ha ha!...Then. 92 00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:54,695 - actually, it's a slow day. 93 00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,897 - a slow day in space? 94 00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,498 Nonsense! 95 00:04:58,565 --> 00:04:59,600 - uh, yeah. 96 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,702 Anyway, we're on patrol Until further notice. 97 00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:05,806 - very well. On my mark, patrol! 98 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,107 - we're already doing that. 99 00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:11,412 - right, Because I said, "Patrol!" 100 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:16,016 Anything unusual on our flashing Thingies that scan stuff, cadet? 101 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,451 - you mean the scanners? No. 102 00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:19,452 - now? 103 00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:20,754 - afraid not, sir. 104 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:21,755 - how about... 105 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,158 - all clear, captain. 106 00:05:24,225 --> 00:05:28,862 - good! That means We're doing our job 107 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:32,066 And doing it well. 108 00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:36,136 Cadet, isn't it time For our secret meeting? 109 00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:39,006 - uh, well, I... What secret meeting? 110 00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:41,308 - yes, What secret meeting indeed. 111 00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:43,477 Well-played, cadet. Let's go. 112 00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:46,914 I'm afraid this meeting Is top secret, gents, 113 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,850 So no cameras allowed. 114 00:05:48,917 --> 00:05:53,386 - oh, sorry. It's a secret... A secret...A secret... 115 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:54,588 It's classified. 116 00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,957 - dodgers, a hero? 117 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,224 (laughs) 118 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:08,469 (hysterical laughter) 119 00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:12,072 - what I'm saying is, My beautiful face and charisma 120 00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,641 May not be enough To carry the show. 121 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,043 We need action. 122 00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:18,379 - what do you want to do, Make up a cris? 123 00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:20,881 - that's brilliant. - oy. I wasn't serious. 124 00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,249 - who cares? We're doing it. 125 00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:24,017 And they'll never Know the difference. 126 00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:26,287 Oh, wait, Who's that invisible guy 127 00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:28,789 Who just escaped from prison? 128 00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,090 - how do you know about that? 129 00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,792 - hey, you can't Miss everything, 130 00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:33,360 No matter how hard you try. 131 00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:34,962 - they call him, "Camoman." 132 00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:35,963 - "Camelman"? 133 00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,932 - no, "Camo," as in camouflage. 134 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,767 - does he look like a camel? 135 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:44,138 - no, it's camo. C-a-m-o. 136 00:06:44,205 --> 00:06:45,473 And he's not invisible, 137 00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:47,674 He just blends Into his surroundings. 138 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:48,976 Like a chameleon. 139 00:06:49,043 --> 00:06:50,244 - so why not call him, "The chameleon"? 140 00:06:50,311 --> 00:06:52,313 - because that name's Already taken. 141 00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:54,081 - by who? - by the chameleon. 142 00:06:54,148 --> 00:06:55,683 - well, that's our guy. 143 00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:59,686 I mean, if you can't see him, And we say he's here, 144 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,155 Who's to say he's not? 145 00:07:01,222 --> 00:07:02,757 - anyone With a functioning brain. 146 00:07:02,824 --> 00:07:07,728 - and if we can get him to Change his name to "Camelman," 147 00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,230 It'll be perfect! 148 00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:12,233 - captain, this is a monumental Violation of ethics. 149 00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:17,299 - ethics? This is tv, cadet. There are no ethics in tv. 150 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,673 - good point. 151 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:22,376 - hey, it finally worked! 152 00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:25,079 Are there Any unauthorized intruders 153 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,646 On board the ship, cadet? 154 00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:27,647 - no. - cadet! 155 00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,616 - (sighs) 156 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,318 I mean, yes, captain, 157 00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:33,787 There is an intruder On board the ship. 158 00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:36,223 - great scott! An intruder! 159 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,092 Are you picking up Anything unusual 160 00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:41,028 About this Highly dangerous intruder? 161 00:07:41,095 --> 00:07:43,230 - oh, yes. According To my magic fairy wand, 162 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:46,166 The intruder is Invisib...Invisib... 163 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,603 You can see right through him. 164 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,804 - great scott! Right through him! 165 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:51,972 That is unusual. 166 00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:55,409 Why it must be The invisible camelman! 167 00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:58,312 "A crim...A criminal Who recently escaped 168 00:07:58,379 --> 00:08:01,248 "From the galactic protectorate Penitentiary, 169 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,750 "And is able to blend Into his sur... 170 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,386 Surroundings at will." 171 00:08:05,453 --> 00:08:09,356 And where on the ship is this Mysterious camelman, cadet? 172 00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:12,226 - it's "Camoman," And my crystal ball says 173 00:08:12,293 --> 00:08:15,629 He's on the deck Of lies and deceit. 174 00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:19,866 Or the cargo bay. 175 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,302 - the cargo bay! 176 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:24,171 What a fitting setting For a climactic showdown 177 00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:27,107 With an elusive, Unstoppable foe, hmm? 178 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,310 - uh, yeah. Should we go down there, 179 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,478 Or are we pretending To do that, too? 180 00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:32,814 - knock it off! 181 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,916 All right, no, no, no, no. Don't use that last part. 182 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,617 No, or this. 183 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,353 - (hysterical laughter) 184 00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:41,922 You're killing me! 185 00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:45,092 - yes, I'm dodger's archenemy. 186 00:08:45,159 --> 00:08:47,627 But I'm also So much more than that. 187 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:48,395 For instance, 188 00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:50,597 I'm a novice gourmet chef. 189 00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:51,432 Did you know that? 190 00:08:51,499 --> 00:08:54,634 And I sculpt clay unicorns. 191 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:59,139 - (snickering) 192 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,109 - but my true passion Is singing. 193 00:09:02,176 --> 00:09:03,577 Would you like to hear a song? 194 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,812 - let's just say The commander is to singers 195 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,747 What dodgers is to captains. 196 00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,483 They're both appalling. 197 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:13,220 Centurions, on the other hand, Have wonderful singing voices. 198 00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:15,189 In fact, We all have the same voice. 199 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:16,624 -don't you agree? - yes, I do. 200 00:09:16,691 --> 00:09:18,392 - he's very smart. - and very well-spoken. 201 00:09:18,459 --> 00:09:19,993 - that's why we chose him To speak for us. 202 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,728 - really, did you? - I did, too. 203 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,597 - (hysterical laughter) 204 00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:26,266 A hero! 205 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:29,933 Oh, mommy, make it stop! 206 00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,140 - we should organize this stuff. 207 00:09:33,207 --> 00:09:35,942 - it is organized. Don't touch anything. 208 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,045 - there he is. Do you see him? 209 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:41,482 - camoman? Oh, yeah, I see him. 210 00:09:41,549 --> 00:09:43,016 Yep, there he is, all right. 211 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,919 - stay here. I'll handle him. 212 00:09:44,986 --> 00:09:48,489 Justice is blind, camelman, But I'm not! 213 00:09:48,556 --> 00:09:51,625 I see you, and you're guilty! 214 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:56,029 - oh, he worked on that line For an hour. 215 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,231 - hah! 216 00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,733 Oof! Unh! Oof! Oh! 217 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,068 Ohh! Oof! 218 00:10:01,135 --> 00:10:05,205 - guess who gets To clean this up? 219 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,207 - not bad, camelman! 220 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,309 - ow! 221 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,542 - but not good enough! 222 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,659 (crash) 223 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,451 - let's see How easy it is for you 224 00:10:17,518 --> 00:10:22,518 To turn invisible and escape From prison this time! 225 00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:24,025 - well done, sir. 226 00:10:24,092 --> 00:10:27,461 Maybe camoman has a message For the viewing public. 227 00:10:27,528 --> 00:10:30,364 - he has the right To remain silent, cadet. 228 00:10:30,431 --> 00:10:33,300 You're not suggesting I trample On his rights, are you? 229 00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:35,503 - uh, no, But here's a suggestion: 230 00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:37,371 Help clean up This absurd mess you made! 231 00:10:37,438 --> 00:10:40,073 - I can't do everything, cadet. 232 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,011 Doing everything is your job. 233 00:10:43,077 --> 00:10:46,079 - so what are you going to do For the rest of the show? 234 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,014 - what do you mean? 235 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,215 There's more?! 236 00:10:48,282 --> 00:10:49,784 - heroic stuff. 237 00:10:49,851 --> 00:10:53,387 We'll be right back With more heroic stuff, 238 00:10:53,454 --> 00:10:56,990 Including a preview Of "Manbeast ragewar iv," 239 00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,959 After these messages. 240 00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:03,697 Stay frosty. 241 00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:06,163 - (men shouting) 242 00:11:13,541 --> 00:11:15,576 - are they men, sire? 243 00:11:15,643 --> 00:11:18,879 - they're not just men, Mcchirpy. 244 00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:21,281 They're manbeasts. 245 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:24,985 - aye! It's going To be a war, then. 246 00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:28,088 - not just a war, old friend. 247 00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,424 A ragewar! 248 00:11:30,491 --> 00:11:34,361 Now, go get them! 249 00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:37,865 - by meself? 250 00:11:37,932 --> 00:11:40,401 - welcome back To "Bonafide heroes." 251 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,003 I'm kirk manlord, 252 00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:46,241 And that was a preview Of "Manbeast ragewar iv." 253 00:11:46,307 --> 00:11:50,177 Here with me is my sidekick In the movie, mcchirpy. 254 00:11:50,244 --> 00:11:52,513 - actually, I'm george mcculless, 255 00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:54,749 And I prefer "Co-star." 256 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,183 - glad to have you, mcchirpy. 257 00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:59,786 And now we return To captain duck dodgers, 258 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,355 Bonafide hero. 259 00:12:01,422 --> 00:12:06,326 - my name is george! George!! 260 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,862 - after catching bad guys, 261 00:12:07,929 --> 00:12:10,197 There's nothing I like to do more 262 00:12:10,264 --> 00:12:12,767 Than unwind with my axe. 263 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:16,002 - dodgers is the worst Guitar player in existence. 264 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,071 He should be behind bars. 265 00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:19,273 He's that bad. 266 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,475 He's a punk. Really. 267 00:12:21,542 --> 00:12:23,310 - yup, just me and my axe. 268 00:12:23,377 --> 00:12:25,446 (sproing) 269 00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,047 - uh, yeah. 270 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:30,183 - oh, hello, captain dodgers. 271 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,320 Dr. I.Q. Hi here. 272 00:12:33,387 --> 00:12:35,056 - yeah, we know who you are. 273 00:12:35,123 --> 00:12:39,493 - yes, well, I hear Congratulations are in order 274 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:42,195 For your capture of camoman. 275 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:45,031 So, congratulations. 276 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,266 - thanks, chief. 277 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,402 Just another day on the job. 278 00:12:48,469 --> 00:12:52,306 - right. So, good job. 279 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,607 - uh-huh. 280 00:12:53,674 --> 00:12:56,710 Was there anything else You wanted? 281 00:12:56,777 --> 00:13:00,180 - um...Not that I can think of. 282 00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:01,881 - ok, bye. - no, no, wait! 283 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,484 - dodgers, old pal. 284 00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:06,020 Kudos on the camoman collar. 285 00:13:06,087 --> 00:13:09,523 Why, it reminds me of the time That I, star johnson, 286 00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:12,159 Single-handedly netted An invisi-cougar 287 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,794 Using nothing but a shoelace. 288 00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,796 Oh, yes, tiny though It might have been, 289 00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,564 It was wrapped Not once, not twice, 290 00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:21,068 But thrice around That animal's neck, 291 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,369 And pi... 292 00:13:22,436 --> 00:13:24,705 - I have no idea who that was. 293 00:13:24,772 --> 00:13:27,074 - sir, we're being hailed again. 294 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,509 - no more calls, cadet. 295 00:13:28,576 --> 00:13:30,745 I can only take So much praise per day. 296 00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:34,114 - but, sir, it's captain soleil. 297 00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,116 - aye, aye, captain. 298 00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,651 Yeah, captain aurora soleil 299 00:13:37,718 --> 00:13:40,120 And I have quite a history. 300 00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:41,121 She had a crush on me 301 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,556 From the day I met her. 302 00:13:42,623 --> 00:13:45,693 - have I ever had a crush On captain dodgers? 303 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:47,728 Not that I'm aware of. 304 00:13:47,795 --> 00:13:50,364 - we dated for months... Years, I mean. 305 00:13:50,431 --> 00:13:52,399 She was obsessed with me. 306 00:13:52,466 --> 00:13:56,169 - go out with him? You mean, on a date? 307 00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:58,572 No! Absolutely not! 308 00:13:58,639 --> 00:14:00,307 Never! Not even once! 309 00:14:00,374 --> 00:14:02,743 No, never! Ever! 310 00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:04,578 - when she asked me To marry her, 311 00:14:04,645 --> 00:14:06,147 I had to break it off. 312 00:14:06,214 --> 00:14:10,785 Duck dodgers is a lone wolf, A free bird, a han solo... 313 00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:13,353 - what in blazes Is going on here?! 314 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,623 What are you doing on my yacht? 315 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:17,925 - marry him? Are you insane?! 316 00:14:17,992 --> 00:14:22,992 Who said that?! Let me see your notes. 317 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,432 - oh, hello, aurora. 318 00:14:25,499 --> 00:14:26,667 - captain dodgers, are you... 319 00:14:26,734 --> 00:14:28,936 - call me "Shnookums," Baby cakes. 320 00:14:29,003 --> 00:14:31,772 - call me "Captain soleil," Captain dodgers. 321 00:14:31,839 --> 00:14:34,475 Are you claiming You've captured camoman? 322 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,377 - claiming, nothing! We got him! 323 00:14:36,444 --> 00:14:39,247 - really? Because I've been Tracking camoman for weeks, 324 00:14:39,314 --> 00:14:42,150 And my sources suggest He's still at large. 325 00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:44,051 - sounds like you need Better sources. 326 00:14:44,118 --> 00:14:46,053 - my sources include A laser retinal sensor 327 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,589 Placing camoman On a milky way cruise liner 328 00:14:48,656 --> 00:14:50,357 8 minutes ago. 329 00:14:50,424 --> 00:14:52,526 With 99% certainty. 330 00:14:52,593 --> 00:14:53,928 - sounds thin. 331 00:14:53,995 --> 00:14:57,197 If he really was there, Why didn't you bag him? 332 00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:59,033 - he disappeared. He does that. 333 00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:01,802 - hi, aurora. You look lovely today. 334 00:15:01,869 --> 00:15:04,404 - thank you, cadet. So do you. 335 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:05,906 - hee hee hee...Ooh! 336 00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:08,275 - captain, I'd like to see camoman. 337 00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:09,543 (crash) 338 00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:11,846 - so would I, But no one can see him. 339 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:14,247 That's his thing, rember? 340 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,216 - you can If he stands near plaid. 341 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:17,551 He can't mic plaid. 342 00:15:17,618 --> 00:15:20,120 But I'm sure You already knew that. 343 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:21,222 - of course. 344 00:15:21,289 --> 00:15:24,057 Cadet, fetch the prisoner And my kilt. 345 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,860 (imitates static) 346 00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:30,926 Oh, no, looks like Transmission is breaking up! 347 00:15:31,565 --> 00:15:33,567 - no, the transmission is fine. 348 00:15:33,634 --> 00:15:36,203 - call you back. Bye! 349 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,504 - dodgers, don't you dare hit... 350 00:15:37,571 --> 00:15:39,006 - whew. 351 00:15:39,073 --> 00:15:41,074 - sir, we have An unauthorized intruder 352 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,477 In the evaporation room. 353 00:15:43,544 --> 00:15:44,745 - a real one? 354 00:15:44,812 --> 00:15:47,414 Uh, I mean, another one? 355 00:15:47,481 --> 00:15:48,749 On screen! 356 00:15:48,816 --> 00:15:51,184 - (evil laughter) 357 00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:52,486 - sir, it must be... 358 00:15:52,553 --> 00:15:53,987 - a malfunction! 359 00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,656 Darn cheap ship. 360 00:15:55,723 --> 00:15:57,091 Oh, uh, cadet? 361 00:15:57,158 --> 00:15:59,526 - time for another Secret meeting? 362 00:15:59,593 --> 00:16:00,594 - you got it. 363 00:16:00,661 --> 00:16:01,695 - I don't know a duck dodgers. 364 00:16:01,762 --> 00:16:03,464 - wrong! - of course! 365 00:16:03,531 --> 00:16:06,199 I've been best friends With duck dodgers since birth! 366 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:07,601 - no! 367 00:16:07,668 --> 00:16:10,504 - psst! Did you know That opening your own tollbooth 368 00:16:10,571 --> 00:16:12,506 On a public road is illegal? 369 00:16:12,573 --> 00:16:14,140 Isn't that weird? 370 00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:16,077 - no!! 371 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,111 - hi, officer. You look great in blue. 372 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,447 Can I wear your badge? 373 00:16:19,514 --> 00:16:23,450 - sir, camoman is on the ship. We have to catch him. 374 00:16:23,517 --> 00:16:25,485 - no, we already caught him. 375 00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:27,154 - we caught The pretend camoman. 376 00:16:27,221 --> 00:16:29,357 I'm talking about The real camoman. 377 00:16:29,424 --> 00:16:32,293 - cadet, as far as Those cameras are concerned, 378 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:36,263 The pretend camelman Is the real camelman. 379 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,200 - camoman! Camoman!! 380 00:16:39,267 --> 00:16:41,269 - whatever. We committed to a story line. 381 00:16:41,336 --> 00:16:44,404 We can't change it now. It's unprofessional. 382 00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:45,973 - harboring An escaped felon isn't? 383 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:50,845 - no. Besides, if we ignore him, I bet he'll just go away. 384 00:16:50,911 --> 00:16:53,981 - so we're pretending The real criminal isn't here, 385 00:16:54,048 --> 00:16:57,084 Because we pretended a pretend Criminal was here first? 386 00:16:57,151 --> 00:16:59,187 - didn't follow that, but yes. 387 00:16:59,253 --> 00:17:01,154 - that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 388 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:03,156 - cadet, it's tv. 389 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,392 - you win. 390 00:17:04,459 --> 00:17:07,394 - great. I've got an idea For our next scene. 391 00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:08,863 Let's hit the gym. 392 00:17:08,929 --> 00:17:11,264 - hit the gym? You? 393 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,266 (muttering) 394 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,371 - (evil laughter) 395 00:17:16,437 --> 00:17:18,906 - I gave up bounty hunting Because of dodgers. 396 00:17:18,973 --> 00:17:20,908 Actually, dodgers had Nothing to do with it, 397 00:17:20,975 --> 00:17:25,546 But you're free To say he did if you want. 398 00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:26,647 - unh! 399 00:17:26,714 --> 00:17:28,348 - eat on your own time, frank! 400 00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:31,752 - ooh! Ahh! Ohh! 401 00:17:31,819 --> 00:17:33,587 Whew, what a workout! 402 00:17:33,654 --> 00:17:35,323 I really pushed it today. 403 00:17:35,390 --> 00:17:37,624 - yeah, you're pushing it, All right. 404 00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:41,061 - look at me! I'm drenched in sweat! 405 00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:42,295 - yeah, sweat. 406 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,296 - I said "Sweating" 407 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:44,364 Not "Swimming!" 408 00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:46,100 - why don't you do it then? 409 00:17:46,167 --> 00:17:48,435 - yeah, got to keep myself In shape 410 00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:51,572 To take down scum like camo guy. 411 00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:53,107 Not that he was a challenge. 412 00:17:53,174 --> 00:17:56,343 I eat bad guys like him For breakfast. 413 00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:58,111 I also eat bacon! 414 00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,146 - uh, captain? 415 00:17:59,213 --> 00:18:02,115 - not now, cadet. I'm ruminating. 416 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:02,883 - but, sir... 417 00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,552 - later! That's an order! 418 00:18:04,619 --> 00:18:07,688 And put a little more magic In those fingers, would you? 419 00:18:07,755 --> 00:18:10,591 Honestly, my work is never done. 420 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,093 Much better. 421 00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:15,061 You see, the key to leadership Is yelling. 422 00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:16,097 And bacon. 423 00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,965 Oh, is it time For a mirror break? 424 00:18:18,032 --> 00:18:20,233 - no, I want to show you Something. 425 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,536 It's a surprise. 426 00:18:21,603 --> 00:18:23,971 - cadet, I look at a mirror Every two minutes. 427 00:18:24,038 --> 00:18:25,973 Nothing I see Will be a...Surprise? 428 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:30,611 - hi. - aah! 429 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,679 It's camelman! 430 00:18:32,746 --> 00:18:34,248 I'm startled because he escaped, 431 00:18:34,315 --> 00:18:38,052 Not because I've never Seen him before in my life. 432 00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:40,154 - good cover, sir. - thank you. 433 00:18:40,221 --> 00:18:42,322 Man, I've broken Like 200 of these. 434 00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:43,757 I wonder if that's bad. 435 00:18:43,824 --> 00:18:46,294 - dodgers? Yeah, he's ok. 436 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:48,162 You guys want to shoot me Lifting an engine block 437 00:18:48,229 --> 00:18:50,331 Or running real fast Or something? 438 00:18:50,398 --> 00:18:53,801 - I don't care if the scanners Say camoman is down here. 439 00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:55,936 I just cleaned this place up! 440 00:18:56,003 --> 00:18:57,871 Let's wait until he goes Somewhere else, huh? 441 00:18:57,938 --> 00:18:59,240 - like where, the kitchen? 442 00:18:59,307 --> 00:19:01,575 Name one show where The climactic showdown 443 00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:02,977 Takes place in a kitchen. 444 00:19:03,043 --> 00:19:06,480 - "Iron chef," every episode. 445 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:07,481 - name two. 446 00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,183 - fine, but can this be the last 447 00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:10,918 Climactic showdown You have today? 448 00:19:10,985 --> 00:19:13,321 - if you play your cards right. We'll see. 449 00:19:13,387 --> 00:19:15,722 Good thing I saved These old work suits, huh? 450 00:19:15,789 --> 00:19:17,158 - where did you work, 451 00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:19,793 At the small and short man's Ugly suit store? 452 00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:20,861 - yes, why? 453 00:19:20,928 --> 00:19:22,963 - uh, just curious. 454 00:19:23,030 --> 00:19:25,666 - we know you're in here, Cameoman! 455 00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:27,335 - camoman! 456 00:19:27,401 --> 00:19:30,904 - right! So show yourself Where the camera can see you! 457 00:19:30,971 --> 00:19:34,121 Light them up, cadet! 458 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:37,678 - hey, guys, listen! 459 00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,513 Let me explain What I'm doing here. 460 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:40,747 - ready, cadet? 461 00:19:40,814 --> 00:19:42,883 - all systems plaid, sir. 462 00:19:42,950 --> 00:19:45,352 - no, wait! The reason I'm here is... 463 00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:48,289 (crash) 464 00:19:48,356 --> 00:19:53,356 - give it up, camelman! You're not going anywhere! 465 00:19:53,894 --> 00:19:55,796 And neither are we! 466 00:19:55,863 --> 00:19:57,898 - fine! The only reason I'm even here 467 00:19:57,965 --> 00:20:00,334 - is because I want to be on tv. - what?! 468 00:20:00,401 --> 00:20:03,837 - yeah, I heard they were Shooting "Bonafide heroes" here. 469 00:20:03,904 --> 00:20:07,507 I love that show! Kirk manlord rules! 470 00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:08,842 - really? That's it? 471 00:20:08,909 --> 00:20:10,878 - I'm an escaped convict. 472 00:20:10,945 --> 00:20:14,148 Why else would I board A protectorate ship? 473 00:20:14,215 --> 00:20:17,584 - you want to be on tv, huh? 474 00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,120 - I'm a sneaky bad guy. 475 00:20:19,186 --> 00:20:21,021 And when I break the law, 476 00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:22,689 I know only one person 477 00:20:22,756 --> 00:20:23,857 Can catch me: 478 00:20:23,924 --> 00:20:25,826 Captain duck dodgers, 479 00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:28,462 The smartest, bravest, 480 00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,764 Coolest...Uh... 481 00:20:30,831 --> 00:20:31,799 - hunkiest. 482 00:20:31,865 --> 00:20:35,035 - really? Is that even a word? 483 00:20:35,102 --> 00:20:37,504 ...Hunkiest hero anywhere. 484 00:20:37,571 --> 00:20:38,839 How was that? Good? 485 00:20:38,906 --> 00:20:41,708 - solid, babe. That's a wrapper. 486 00:20:41,775 --> 00:20:43,144 - wait, we're still doing 487 00:20:43,210 --> 00:20:45,579 The heroic cooking segment, Right? 488 00:20:45,646 --> 00:20:46,396 - no. 489 00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:53,854 - inspiring stuff. 490 00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:55,089 On behalf of mcchirpy 491 00:20:55,156 --> 00:20:57,758 And everyone At "Bonafide heroes," 492 00:20:57,825 --> 00:20:59,527 I thank you for joing us. 493 00:20:59,594 --> 00:21:04,594 And order you to go see "Manbeast ragewar iv." 494 00:21:04,798 --> 00:21:05,833 Good night. 495 00:21:05,899 --> 00:21:07,501 - I look like an idiot. 496 00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:08,869 - hold on, kirk! 497 00:21:08,936 --> 00:21:11,538 I have a few parting Thoughts before we go! 498 00:21:11,605 --> 00:21:12,739 - actually, the show's over. 499 00:21:12,806 --> 00:21:14,208 - oh, no, it's not! 500 00:21:14,275 --> 00:21:18,311 This show ain't over Until I say it's over! 501 00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:22,950 Hey!! 502 00:21:23,017 --> 00:21:24,718 - cadet, have you seen my brain? 503 00:21:24,785 --> 00:21:26,787 I can't remember Where I left it. 504 00:21:26,854 --> 00:21:30,891 You're not rolling yet, Are you? 505 00:21:30,958 --> 00:21:32,325 - well, as long As the liquid is blue, 506 00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:33,728 It's harmless. 507 00:21:33,795 --> 00:21:38,795 If it turns red, well, I will have 5 seconds to live. 508 00:21:39,633 --> 00:21:41,469 ♪ I am a pirate king ♪ 509 00:21:41,536 --> 00:21:46,536 - ♪ he is the pirate king ♪ 510 00:21:56,317 --> 00:21:58,152 - I still love duck dodgers. 511 00:21:58,219 --> 00:22:01,155 But he'll never, ever know. 512 00:22:01,222 --> 00:22:03,772 Is that thing on? 513 00:22:14,602 --> 00:22:17,104 - I can't believe They made dodgers a captain. 514 00:22:17,171 --> 00:22:19,006 I'd be a better captain Than him. 515 00:22:19,073 --> 00:22:22,523 I've got my own helmet. 516 00:22:25,145 --> 00:22:26,780 - so whose voice do you do? 517 00:22:26,847 --> 00:22:28,015 - yours. 518 00:22:28,082 --> 00:22:29,917 - well, keep practicing. 519 00:22:29,983 --> 00:22:31,351 How about you, slim? 520 00:22:31,418 --> 00:22:34,387 - (stammering) 521 00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:35,722 Think about it. 522 00:22:35,789 --> 00:22:38,592 Th-th-th-th Uh, line? 523 00:22:38,658 --> 00:22:41,394 - that's all, folks!